Curses! Foiled again!

Or why you could get a tan in my refrigerator

People often tell me I should own stock in Reynolds because I use so much aluminum foil. I do (as in Alcoa) and I do.

The terms tin foil and aluminum foil are used interchangeably, but they actually refer to two different products. Tin foil, available in the late 1800s through early 1900s, was made of a thin leaf of the metal in its name. A more pliable alternative, aluminum foil superceded tin foil in utilization and popularity in the mid 1900s. Unlike its predecessor, aluminum foil does not permeate the taste of the food wrapped in it. Um …. ewwww.

I call aluminum foil aluminum foil. Bruce calls it tin foil. I think it depends on what your parents called it when you were growing up. The boxes themselves are labeled aluminum foil. Signs over market aisles are neutral; they read, simply, Foils or Wraps.

In my house growing up, we had two kinds of food wrap: aluminum foil and wax paper. Wax paper was used to wrap items like sandwiches. I can see my dad, carefully centering a sandwich on a piece of wax paper, bringing two opposite sides of the wrap together and folding them down toward the sandwich, then tucking the two other ends UNDER the food. It took me a long time to become adept at the tucking under concept; it seemed counterintuitive. I usually folded the ends over the top, where they tended to promptly unfold. But the wrapped item then was placed in a waxy brown bag, so it stayed fairly fresh anyway.

We were big TastyKake fans. In my younger days, TastyKake came wrapped in wax paper, Butterscotch Krimpets and Juniors easily extracted for prompt eating pleasure. Not like today, with everything hermetically sealed in thin plastic that needs more than a moment to open, hopefully without smooshing the contents. Ritz crackers and Saltines come in wax paper sleeves. And cereal bags inside boxes. The point is, I was/am aware that wax paper was/is an option for preserving freshness, before I became addicted to the shiny stuff.

[Sidebar: Wax paper also could be rubbed along metal sliding boards to increase your speed. For a change, I digress.]

Notice I didn’t mention anything about plastic wrap. I don’t remember my mom using Saran or any of the other supposedly clingy options. Which may explain why I am plastic wrap challenged. Our kids—most especially, Rob and Amy—neatly apply several kinds of plastic wrap over food on plates and in bowls with ease, creating a crisp, tight seal like beds on which you could bounce a quarter. Me? I have an issue finding the end of the wrap on the roll while it is still in the box. Then I attempt to pull it out straight and it gets all mangled and stuck to itself. If/when I manage to flatten it, I inevitably snag some part of my hand on the serrated cutting edge, causing me to suck the blood away from the wound so it doesn’t get on the wrap. Hopefully, I’ve torn off the correct sized piece. Then I try to secure it to the bowl/plate. It never adheres properly. Also see Don’t let her near contact paper.

Soooo…. now most of my wrapping is with aluminum foil.

I wrap EVERYthing in aluminum foil. I packed sandwiches for school lunches when the kids were younger, wrapped the way my dad taught me. I have an iconic photo of Rob in fourth grade, sitting at the school cafeteria table in his Chiefs Starter jacket, unfolding his tuna sandwich. My (displaced?) belief was the foil insulated the tuna salad (i.e., the mayonnaise), keeping the food cool enough to not spoil for the few hours that elapsed from the time I made lunch until it was consumed. I always used way too much foil. This was before kids toted insulated lunch boxes with frozen blocks to keep things cold.

I use aluminum foil to cover food like chicken thighs (see previous post) to bake and to line the pans I am doing the baking in. I roast my meat dishes in my old aluminum pans, well lined with aluminum foil. I rarely make anything requiring the oven without first lining the baking pan or sheet. Truly, using foil makes clean up so much easier. I always use way too much.

I use foil to wrap leftovers. I always buy an extra box or two when I host holidays. I use the foil throw-away pans to store the cooked food like brisket or the remaining turkey, covered with foil. Then I play peek-a-boo with the covered pans in the refrigerator—this one has the beef, this has the turkey, this has the sweet potatoes. I could write the contents on the foil with a Sharpie but that would take away some of the holiday fun.

When our kids were in grade school and I ran out of brown market bags, I’d use aluminum foil in a pinch to cover textbooks. You then had the pleasure of writing or drawing with your finger in the foil.

I use the heavy duty variety in the long box, except at the beach house, where I buy the 200-foot roll because it fits in the drawer. But that means I overestimate how much I need to tear off. I always use way too much.

Once Bruce made Ali a Hershey’s kiss Halloween costume using boxes and boxes of foil wrapped around a wire frame. It was hard to just throw it away.

I thought I was the only one who spreads aluminum foil under the menorah to catch the candle drippings until Facebook photos of Chanukah celebrations convinced me I was not alone in this practice.

I prefer Reynolds brand. Some store brands may be cheaper, but they seem to be thicker and/or harder to rend from their packaging. I am now paying somewhere around eight dollars for the seventy-five foot roll of heavy duty Reynolds aluminum foil. I should seek less-expensive alternatives. But I am addicted.

Does anyone fold the tabs on the end of the box in to secure the roll for easier tearing? Me either.

My kids, of course, are well aware of my aluminum foil issue and do not seem to have inherited it. Besides Rob and Amy’s cling wrapping skills, all of the kids have become fans of various versions of zip-locking storage bags, the ones with the little jimjig that slides across the top of the bag and the ones with the one or two lines that you press into each other. I must admit, I use storage bags as well—I prefer the one with the jimjig. But I often prewrap what I am storing (particularly leftover pizza) in foil before putting the slices into the labeled zip bag for freezing. Also, I used to put leftover salad in said bags, but I’ve found the lettuce stays crisper in a foil-covered bowl.

Fifteen years into her struggles with Alzheimer’s Disease, my mom (a long-time fan of aluminum foil) was hospitalized because of a heart attack. Her food choices had become limited as her illness progressed, so I decided to make her some of my cherry kugel, one of her favorites. Her doctor, overhearing my telling her that I would bring some on my next visit, remarked, “Hey. I wouldn’t mind some homemade kugel.” The next day, I arrived with two foil-wrapped portions, one for my mom and one for the doctor. Physician and patient were most grateful.

I left the room to get my mom some coffee to accompany her snack. Meanwhile, Missy and Ali arrived to visit their mom mom. They spotted the doctor in the hallway with a silvery package in his grip. They immediately recognized my distinctive foil wrapping style and not knowing I had promised him food, thought, Why do you have that and what have you done with my mom?

So, after seventy-plus years, I have achieved notoriety—not just for my younger appearance, my poetry, and my prose, but for my way with aluminum foil. I could be known for worse.

In case you think I’m kidding. And this—post holiday—is just the basement fridge. And yes, that’s the infamous red stew pot with the leftover soup.